astrology boosts stress reliefmonkey like a sponge for alla that ragin'

GRRRRR!  GNASH!  PISSYPANTS!

OMG you ragin’ like a wild animal.

Screamin’, lashin’ out, real frickin’ dangerous.

An’ why so?

BCS SUM DUMB FUCKIN’ WAY STOOPID SHIT BE GOWIN’ DOWN AN’ YOUR TRIGGER JUS’ FIRED OFF SO HARD YOU GOT FIREBALLS BLASTIN’ OUTTA ALLA YOUR HOLES.

Why is my lame boss dumping crap on my ass while I got a MEEEEEEEGRAINE?

Why is my sweetheart cheating on me with a fat bitch don’t even got decent tits?

Why has this goddamn yogurt split on me in the store and oozed mushed fucking strawberries all over my best $200 pants?

WHY DOES THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE ALWAYS KICK OFF WHEN I WANNA BRING MYSELF OFF TO CLASSICAL MUSIC WHILE MY TATTOOED GIMP INSTRUCTS HIS IGUANA TO NIBBLE ON MY BUTT?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHHHYYYYYY?????

Aw, but listen Sweetie, see cos I know how you feel.

An’ I want you to know I got a solootion.

Cos if’n you don’t get this outta control anger sorted real quick, you gonna put yourself an’ others in danger.

So whatever it is, whatever beef you got, whatever be makin’ you wanna kick an’ punch an’ lash out like crazy

jus’ pull alla that ragin’ energy together an’

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY

Gowan, let it all out.

Fuck! Bastard! Asshole!

Shout it. Spit it. Cuss the fucker on out.

Monkey real stoopid, an’ he don’t frickin’ care.

He jus’ gonna sit there lookin’ real goofy an’ soak up whatever you got.

That piss you off?

Kinda … he all calm an’ placid an’ you ain’t?

Ha! Betchya real mad now!

So gowan, see if’n you can get the dumbass primate to SHOUT BACK.

Scream at the stoopid asshole!

Cuss his Mom for a bitch, his Dad for a motherfucker — gowan, LOAD IT UP, SPIT IT OUT.

Stooooopid fuckin’ monkey!

Let him have it!

Full on fuckin’ spleen!

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY!

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY!

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY!

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY!

SHOUT AT THE STOOPID MONKEY

TILL YOU SO PUMPED YOUR GUTS BE BULGIN’ OUTTA YOUR CHOPS!

Gotta be better than punchin’ sumone or trashin’ the place.

Gotta be better than gettin’ your short fuse self arrested.

Gotta be better than scarin’ your Granma.

An’ when you done … hey, ain’t that such a relief?

It be like meditatin’ or Yogah — minus the stretchy joggers an’ ambient dolphin squeal soundtrack.

Monkey takes you from blowout … to chillout.

He soak it up, soak it up, soak it up.

Tellya, stoopid primate be the ultimate stress-bustin’ solootion anyplace on the internets.

So breathe deep, go get on with whatevah.

You need the stoopid monkey again, he always here.

princess balestra astrology rocks the vista