YOUR HANDY

URANUS IN TAURUS TRANSIT PRIMER 2018

Is the 2018 Uranus in Taurus transit the BIG ONE?

Yanno … an astrological wiener so colossal no boxers can contain it?

Even before we get our hands on it an’ play around with its potentialities as they firm up before our eyes?

tbh, I think so.

Which means we are fortunate, you an’ Moi.

Cos we livin’ through a time packin’ real change — a way better scenario than suffocatin’ to death beneath no cardboard mleh comfort blanket Nirvana.

Gotta figure the Uranus in Taurus transit phenomenaaahn pulls on the change lever for three key reasons.

1) Gonna last till 2026.

Uranus is a slow-movin’ outer planet an’ its effects grow an’ manifest over time, slowly sweepin’ away whatever went on before.

So mebbe think ‘bout a mockin’ bird.

You get a mockin’ bird as an egg, you can train her up to sing anythin’ you wanna — soulful indie, ancient O Irish ballads, religious zealotry maxin’ on pomp — but 7-8 years later she gonna be dead, an’ you gotta go buy another mockin’ bird.

Right now, we switchin’ out a repertoire-rich-but-dead Aries bird for an egg got bull horns burstin’ outta it whose playlist we gotta learn up from scratch — assoomin’ the bird gonna play ball.

2) Uranus and Taurus Don’t See Eye To Eye

Key deal here is disruption vs stability.

Uranus packs a reflex says UPSET THE APPLE CART; Taurus wants to pile up the apples one by one, countin’ ‘em as she goes, till they are all safe an’ stable in the cart like a kinda apple mountain (less’n she eats ‘em first with a buncha cream & syrup, mebbe a coupla hundred burgers big as frickin’ scatter cushions).

As astrological unions go, this means an awkward compromise at best an’ one-sided dom at worst.

For sure it is an erratic an’ unpredictable vibe — an’ not one we gonna accommodate easily jus’ cos it goes on for so long.

(The opposite situation is when a planet comes home to roost in its own sign and its energies can be tapped to perfection — a situation like the current Saturn in Capricorn scenario which I know for a fact evrywan is enjoyin’ so, so very much.)

3) Uranus bcs

Anythin’ involvin’ Uranus maxes out on the erratic change deal by default.

Here’s the math …

Take the Uranus outta Uranus in Taurus … an’ you jus’ got Taurus.

An’ what use would it be if planet Oith relied on purdy lookin’ moo cows alone?

Eatin’ pizza at one end, poopin out liquid fertilizer at the other, an’ slowly growin’ the place into a verdant paradise gonna make the Utopian Gaia vision look ecologically pure as pressed orange juice sum alien cephalopod cyborg peed in?

(Actschwlly, this vision sounds mebbe not so bad rn whenya consider the zillion ways hoomankind be trashin’ the place with its eco-harmin’ tech an’ plastic, but even Paradise cannot persist in stasis an’ evrythin’ needs a poke in the ass from time to time.)

Fact is, Uranus loves nuthin’ more than to initiate disruption jus’ to see what happens, an’ in Taurus, it found a real cosy home where it can inflict max possible damage.

So, listen — we in for an excitin’ ride.

I would wanna suggest how Taurus an’ Scorpio gonna be the signs most affected by the Uranus in Taurus transit, followed by Aquarius (cos Uranus rules over the water bearer’s domain) an’ Leo (cos she the 4th fixed sign in the groop gonna be buffeted in the maelstrom) … then evryfucker else.

But let’s be clear here — like the already up-&-runnin’ Saturn in Capricorn vibe (*bliss*), Uranus in Taurus is a distinct astrological epoch gonna make its mark an’ lay down tracks for all eternity.

The Aries-to-Taurus switchout is a major shifta gear on an Unconvention Machine gonna inflooence our loyalties an’ loosen up our firm convictions in a whole buncha areas in our Lifestyle Array.

So here’s my top 5 pointers to how evrywan can maximise their opportoonities in this bright noo epoch …

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 — Blessin’ in Disguise #1

You May Not be Holy Butchya Sure Can Be Verdant

Ain’t so long ago that nowan recycled nuthin’ an’ raw waste got poured into rivers without a care.

Now we all super diligent in so many small ways an’ we seein’ ecological improvements roll out before our eyes — from our neighborhoods through to the wider world.

Tellya, we are so darn green it is like we are Groot — an’ we can feel proud we done great things to reverse environmental catastrophe.

Thing is, we the first generations to think real serious ‘bout these ishoos from a global perspective, an’ what Uranus in Taurus gonna reveal is how we been real fuckin’ feeble.

Jus’ cos we all pack energy-friendly light bulbs an’ don’t flush our tampons directly down the toilet to avoid killin’ baby seals don’t mean we ain’t still headed toward the Abyss.

So we gonna see a big time environmental step-up here — an’ we gonna discover ourselves more zest to make it happen.

This means plenty noo tech got pro-environmental smarts built in — a Uranian revolution that delivers the tools we need to quit poisonin’ the world to death.

Could this revolution begin with YOU?

Depends on howya view the Uranian vibe.

Sumtimes, Uranus plays the eccentric inventor, an’ one bright spark summons miracles from outta seemin’ vapor.

Other times, Uranus harnesses a global movement benefits the common person — an’ I figure we gonna see way more shit operatin’ on this kinda ticket.

Crowdfunded pressure groups packin’ PRO- ‘steada ANTI- agendas — with real power to create news an’ effect change, ‘speshly regardin’ planetary greenness.

We been told for too long by the guys with the money that money don’t grow outta the ground — yet these are so often the self-servin’ bastards who plunder the Earth an’ its resources like they were in infinite supply.

Whatevah you wanna call that deal (an’ I would recommend “Plain Stoopid”), Uranus in Taurus says TIME’S UP.

So, c’mon — ‘fess up fronta the mirror how your planet-lovin’ prowess be kinda feeble — an’ go help fix up sum verdant-powered, green-conscious initiative sumplace.

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 — Blessin’ in Disguise #2

What A Great Time To Be a Nipple Attached To a Sensorium

Can’t look in on no Uranus in Taurus transit for too long without talkin’ boobies — an’ tinglydanglies in general.

Anywan made sweet amour with a Taurus knows they be tactile frickin’ rocket fuel.

You wanna feel wanted, loved, cherished, pampered, blown away downstairs — hook up with a Taurus.

For sure any Uranian revolution in the blendyjuicy department got robot sex written all over it, but that is the creepy extreme to the forthcomin’ vibe.

An’ natchrlly we gonna discover excitin’ noo ways to make with the Intimate Pleasure deal, even though we already done evry Yoga posture allows two people to lick each other’s assholes without breakin’ their frickin’ arms.

For Moi, the bold noo Uranian deal gonna feature a kinda earnest communion.

Gender flooidity means we got more waysa meetin’ up an’ makin out beyond whether we doin’ a handstand while our partner brings us off with their ears.

For all their differences, the Uranian an’ Taurean vibes got their own particular integrity, an’ I figure the interpersonal tenderness needed to trooly hit on an excited an’ pampered nipple gonna receive a real boost as people engage with one another on an adventurously honest level means they free to express their unique integrity.

So, yeah, we gonna see robots packin’ all kindsa rotatin’ cunny stimulators, but also a whole buncha beautifully decloaked individyools makin’ out more open an’ sweet, wherever their union finds ‘em on the gender plateau.

Starts May 15th, so go make with the authentically zappy Frenchies Nouveaux

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 — Blessin’ in Disguise #3

From The Financial Wreckage Shall a More Salient Point About Value & Exchange Spring Like a Christmas Cracker Froggy

This is prolly the feature you expectin’ to see in this kinda article.

Taurus got plenty to say ‘bout finance, so natchrlly the erratic Uranus inflooence means alla the world’s money houses be damned an’ the fyooture gonna run on Bitcoin, kinda thing.

But I would wanna look in on Taurus as a Zodiac packs real insight ‘bout VALUE an’ the one-to-one protocols governin’ fair exchange.

Finance is but one exchange mechanism packs this deal — an’ for sure it is in for a revoolution gonna make the process easier an’ fairer — but filthy lucre is not the enda the story.

In our small ways, we meet an’ greet on all kindsa levels an’ exchange all kindsa personstuffs.

We would wanna be fair an ‘ considerate, but sumtimes we ain’t — an’ our unconsciously one-sided behavior has consequences.

(If we wilfully that way, shame on us, I guess.)

Gotta think here ‘bout the classic “Undervalued Taurus” — sulkin’ away in the corner with an expression like she been slapped in the face with a dead frickin’ toona fish bcs nowan complemented her on her cookin’.

Way I see it, same way as Uranus in Taurus means we gonna wish for a more trooly verdant planet, we also gonna look in more generous on the offers people make to the world.

Startups … based on individyool talents an’ skills unlocked … destined to power up the world with noo smarts … an’ generate noo ways to thank people for what they got — this is what is comin’.

For sure, finance in all its evolvin’ forms will help run the show — but the key transaction gonna be value an’ talent harnessed anew (which for Moi mebbe means chargin’ for astrological readings plus a free ankle & ear lobe massage in pizza or tights.)

Like Jesse J said, it ain’t all about the money — an’ let’s face it, that was years ago before most people saw Uranus in Taurus comin’.

So please be ready to value the people in your life with more earnestness an’ vison.

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 — Blessin’ in Disguise #4

Your New Personal Philosophy Jus’ Trashed Your Old Identity

I got a feelin’ permanence gonna become more flooid — an’ this mebbe gonna make more sense to anywan keeps a journal, operates a personal manifesto or introspects till their hairdo periodically retracts into their skull for a reboot.

We all got ideas an’ thoughts about ourselves kinda grow an’ change through time.

If that weren’t the deal, prolly we would all be wasps.

Summa us flux an’ change all over, others remain broadly steady, but for eacha us — fixed to mutable to cardinal … Aries to Pisces — there is an idea we got ‘bout havin’ a personal CORE.

Take Susie Drivelshitter from Texas, for example.

She a Gemini got green hair now ‘steada purple, an’ she ridin’ motorcycles ‘steada horses.

Her temper is more even than mebbe 5 years ago, but she also way more stressed.

But hey, good ol’ Susie Drivelshitter still talks a loada crap — an’ she knows it.

Take the drivel shit outta the Susie … an’ she kinda ceases to exist.

We all got a CORE like that — a whole buncha essentialstuffs we recognise intimately as excloosively US.

As Uranus bulldozes its sparky all over Taurus, this CORE gonna receive temptin’ invitations to bend & twist — an’ I phrase that in a more positive way than sayin’ sumthin’ like we gonna discover heart & soul under siege cos I don’t want nowan runnin’ for the hills cos they fear the next 8 years gonna screw ‘em outta their personal existence.

It will only feel like that occasionally — like mebbe evry Toosday … and mosta Wednesday to Monday.

An’ mebbe the positive way to view this … ahemfundamental CORE review is to figure on how the smartest buncha solootions hoomankind gonna discover ain’t happened yet.

See, cos the fyooture always depends on shit turnin’ out different.

So imagine how cheated you gonna be in 2026 whenya CORE is 100% Same Old Same Old as it is today.

Might the changes you never saw be entirely dependent on this stubborn ol’ CORE immutability?

Two ways to look at this, I guess.

From a purely disruptive perspective, Uranus in Taurus opens up the possibility for a total personal revolootion where we willingly embrace transformation in our personal CORE beyond what we would ordinarily have tolerated or believed — an’ we do so despite the shocks because we desire a noo an’ authentic freedom.

Alternatively, we gotta remember how disruption is so very often an illoominatin’ change in our pointa view — in which case, our CORE might come through the Uranian blender in one integrity-packin’ piece, only this time we appreciate its value in novel ways open up opportoonities for change we previously could not see.

Alternatively, Uranus gonna take us all by surprise like the mid-coitus sudden finger up the pooper.

Whatever happens, be ready to look in on essential growth-propulsin’ maintenance to your CORE an’ accept the enhancements with gratitood an’ not too much writhin’ around on the floor screamin’ your tits off.

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 — Blessin’ in Disguise #5

Dropdead Donuts

Can’t ever talk ‘bout Taurus for too long without mentionin’ donuts.

See, cos for alla her colossal work ethic an’ values-driven diligence, Taurus is merely a pleasure-seekin’ sensationbeest wantsta stuff infinite YUMMIES down her throat.

An’ by donuts, I mean the bagel kind — yanno, the ones with the holes in the center?

Tellya, those kindsa donuts are the real Taurean deal.

Sit Taurus down at the dinner table with that kinda donut, an’ as she is consoomin’ it like a black hole devours stars, she mebbe say sumthin’ like, “I understand how everyone figures we Taureans eat way too much food — but look here at this donut with NOTHING at its center! In my own sweet way, I am almost fasting as I eat — just think of all the carbs I am denying myself thanks to this enormous vacuum in my lunch space.”

Course, the bigger the central hole, the bigger the donut diameter — butchya must never point that out to got-the-food-deal-sorted ol’ Taurus.

So what does this all mean?

I figure two major developments.

Truth about the donut with the hole in the center is how plenty people in the world got access to the donut part where others merely got the hole.

World gotta eat, an’ right now it fuckin’ don’t — an’ like the deal we got with cleanin’ the place up so we can all prosper in a verdant haven stimulates us to generate cool shit, we gotta get way smarter ‘bout invitin’ evrywan along to the eats.

Jus’ ain’t good enough no more for those packin’ the donut parta the donuts to say, “we trooly sorry yallz live sumplace too hot an’ dry to make food production a doozy, an’ for sure we’d inviteya all over to ours for a serious party, only we closin’ our borders to your kinda people, so here’s a buncha old clothes we don’t want no more, mebbe you can make ‘em into soup or sumthin’”

Lookin’ around the world to the places don’ got too many 24 hour burger joints vomitin’ garbage, I see plenty honorary Taureans real protective ‘bout their place an’ their culture who value their environment as home despite alla its hardships.

An’ I also see plenty honorary Uranians loadin’ up their cashier-free superstores with impossibly fancy Zero Effort food nowan wants whose essential narrative is … I get prodooced at vast expense … I sit on the shelf at vast expense … only to be thrown in the trash at great expense.

Tellya, we got a real imbalance regardin’ eats demands a revolootionry kick in the teeth — an’ the Uranus in Taurus energy is perfectly suited to gettin’ stuck in on this kinda global ishoo.

Values, essentials, all the world’s hoomans — an’ a smarter solootion than ever wider donuts with glarin’ holes in the center.

Truth is, food is a person-maker, an’ without it, you don’t got no fuckin’ persons.

It is a universal truth — so please be more universally considerate whenya stuffin’ your face.

Uranus in Taurus Transit 2018 —
Concloosion Accordin’ To Moi

So thereya have it — five killer ways the Uranus in Taurus transit gonna impact positively on alla our lives despite the potentially alarmin’ growin’ pains gotta be negotiated along the way.

It is a disruptive energy let loose, for sure — coupla vibes don’t sit real easy together nonetheless makin’ with the combinatorial creativity deal best they can.

Broad narrative gonna look in on how change is a permanent fixture in our lives an’ how our CORE life essentials can mebbe mutate into smarter noo versionsa ‘emselves an’ transform integrity into an evolvin’ rather than conservative force.

An’ if’n that sounds too high-falutin’ or aspirationally speculative, gotta remember how any such change or permanence-in-flux stuffs gonna be felt real close up.

For Moi, that is the real dynamic.

So much about Uranus is sparkiness zammin’ faroff — a disconnected kinda wizardry.

Contrast that vibe with the immediate sensual hit Taurus values — evrythin’ from perfect pasta to rockin’ art to the warmest hug ever — an’ it is clear we got a bizarro kinda mismatch gonna shake shit up on evry level from the intelletyool to the evryday an’ practical.

But this great opportoonity we got to pool sweet an’ smart as global hoomans ain’t no kinda magic gonna happen jus’ cos the planets swung round all dinky.

We gotta shape alla this shit ourselves — decide we gonna take advantage durin’ the 8 years this once-in-a-lifetime panorama be ours to re-envisage.

So plz look in on howya directly impact on your world an’ the people in it.

What kinda tangible phenomenon movin’ through time & space areya, anyways?

An’ whatchyoo gonna do to elevate the deal we all got gowin’ down?

Gotta figure substantial change don’t start from anyplace else than this — person by person, planetwide.

Be in no doubt, Sweeties, Uranus in Taurus gonna pull the mess & bless deal withya Mojo …

Title Image c/o 41330 @ Pixabay

Tellya, you wanna look in on plenty GREEN imagry & feel soothed downta your soul, go check these real neat photographs.

Spread the love, slip in the bookmark, mix up the linky.

Summary
Your Handy URANUS in TAURUS Transit Primer 2018
Article Name
Your Handy URANUS in TAURUS Transit Primer 2018
Description
Here's what happens when the planet packin' serious lifestyle POOPER POWER hits on the starsign don't wanna be POOPED on. 5 big changes imminent — so bone up or bum out.
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Princess Balestra
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Gowan — Squirt This Baby Around Like Fizzin' Champagne
By |<span class="sdata2" title="2018-05-15T10:26:02+00:00"></span>|Astro Narrative Rompo, Creativity, Savin' The Cosmos, Taurus, Uranus|0 Comments

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