From nooclear war to same ol’ despots … thru trashed hooman rights an’ a pollution-ravaged planet …

to animal croolty an’ the inedible crap masqueradin’ as CHEESE



But tearin’ out your hair ain’t no solootion.

An’ screamin’ never got nowan noplace

(leastaways, not outsidea the occasional multi-billion dollar record contract).

Even layin’ down an’ dyin’ in the spirita sweet martyr surrender

offers zilcho comfort beyond mebbe sum feral cat gonna lick onya face.

Here’s How You Can Instantly Change Your Life For Free —

Real Fast & Real Smart

Gotta figure your life ain’t trooly stuck — even if it feels that way rn.

One look up at the sky proves this is troo!


You got Sun, you got blue, you got clouds —

an’ evry timeya blink, the panorama changes.


Blink at night, an’ you got evertwinklin’ stars illoominatin’ the mix.

Gaze longingly, an’ you got the Moon —

never the same two nights runnin’

always rollin’ out sweet across the sky

& kissin’ up delish on the fyooture.

An’ you are ever movin’ on also.

Toward that selfsame positive fyooture.

You spin an’ whirl an’ dance

jus’ like Venus an’ Mars,

Joopiter an’ frickin’ Plooto,

an’ alla the crazy planets

the Cosmos got out there in the Void

on its celestial rollercoaster ride.

Only you got BIG TIME ADVANTAGE over those guys.

You got way more freedom, smarts an’ heart.

An’ you do not have to suck along with alla the Earth’s

swamptastically de-energizin’ suction.

This is the promise the Cosmos madeya,

moment you were born.

She said … plz choose what u wanna.

So Quit Slothin’ Around Like Sum Initiative-free Sourpuss 

An’ Go Snort On My 

Princess Balestra Super Gratis Astro Air!

Jus’ one sniffa my revitalizin’ astro vapors

zaps monster choice an’ de-suctionalizin’ vibes

the fuck on downya nostrilpipes


to your bummerized spirit,



from all claustroFFS ills & travails

an’ for total defo indoocin’

Zodiac-powered sensations

gonna makeya feel

inspired, empowered & creative,

mebbe even moderately horny.

Like alla the best things in life,

my Princess Balestra Super Gratis Astro Air is free.

Dispensed from my secret vestibule … destined to kiss on your life-sustainin’ schnozzo,

it is out there, rn an’ always.

Snort when u wanna.  Sniff when u wish.  Suck on whenevah.

Go breathe in … an’ breathe in now.

Fill fulla rompolicious life … here forya always.

Delivered by the very same miracle broughtya

evry eclipse or crescent Moon fulla romance.

Jus’ do not forget to like breathe out also.

Gotta figure my Super Gratis Astro Air is real hot shit an’ all,

but I do not want nowan explodin’ on me tvm.

Enthoosiasm for practical optimism is one thing,

but I do not want no mass self-indooced areolar destruction lawsuit

hangin’ over my life jus’ cos I figured a real easy way

to do evryone a frickin’ favor.

I figure we are sweet now, you an’ Moi.

So go have a real cool day, K?

Princess Balestra’s Super Gratis Astro Air

loves to be breathed like savage wolves hate bein’ fussed

Disclaimer — Gotta figure sumtimes people poop real stinky, an’ when they do that when prolly they shoulda made a run for the john, even my Princess Balestra Super Gratis Astro Air can pack a real face-spasmin’ MING gonna blitz out the legs from underya, so for those occasions when it is necessary to brave life’s suffocatin’ onslaught, armed with merely a filter mask or outfit-complementin’ aqualung, you might wanna dip into my dinky blog or Horoscope Nirvana Array for inspirational succor. Jus’ sayin’.

Gowan — Squirt This Baby Around Like Fizzin' Champagne