Astrology Fulla Rompolicious Stoopid For A Planet Packin’ Big Time Frickin’ Crap

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Your Time Is Sweet An' Precious. But Alla This Shit Is No More...




horoscopes archive

Sweet or dark, brutal or delish, point ’bout the past is she ain’t never comin’ back.

But she offered herself up as the Fyooture one time, tookya hand an’ invitedya along for the next stage inya life’s journey.

An’ you said, “K — I would really love summa that,” an’ you stepped on out, heart inya hands, an’ figuredya days bestya could.

Can’t waste too mucha Now gazin’ backwards, butchya days areya history andya story, an’ sumtimes it is coolta reflect on decisionsya took (or did not) an’ timesya had (or did not) cos alla that shit is howya got to whereya are today.

So here’re my astrological zombies — brainless undead horoscope monsters draineda all power to suck on cerebellum in real time.

Their power to flux onya Here & Now change is done an’ gone, but I leave ’em here for anyone wantsta meditate on past triumphs or disasters loosely based on grippin’ life’s opportoonities betweenya teeth an’ vacuumin’ up alla the cool stuff, jus’ in caseya missed sumthin’ first time round…


“how foolish we were not to see what would ultimately become apparent —

especially that bonehead EUREKA moment resulted in shavin’ & tattooin’ Granma’s Dachshund.”

Janyooary 2017
Febroooary 2017
March 2017
April 2017
May 2017
Joon 2017
Jooly 2017
August 2017
Septembah 2017
Octobah 2017
Novembah 2017
Decembah 2017


“how foolish we were not to see what would ultimately become apparent —

especially when we poured petrol down our dicks with a funnel while we was smokin’ weed.”

Janyooary 2018
Febroooary 2018
March 2018
April 2018
May 2018
Joon 2018
Jooly 2018
August 2018
Septembah 2018
Octobah 2018
Novembah 2018
Decembah 2018

Shadows cannot pick apartya soul.

They are gone an' they are done an' they are dead.

Allya got gonna keepya spirit whole

are steps from whereya are, into futures DREAD.

Gowan — Squirt This Baby Around Like Fizzin' Champagne