Astrology Fulla Rompolicious Stoopid For A Planet Packin’ Big Time Frickin’ Crap
Here's Whatchya Woulda Won If'n Only You'd Found Me Sooner
Scopes — Dec '18
How This Works
Sorry, sweetie — but it is brutally simple.
Septembah 2018 is gone.
She is dust.
Feeble or strong, happy or sad — you are gone also.
Time is NOW, so don’t linger here too long.
It is the past, an’ it is over.
Get frickin’ movin’…
SEPTEMBAH 2018 HOROSCOPES
“Help My Feeble Ass … For Seriously I Be WAY TITSED”
Gotta figure Septembah 2018 was naaaht a cool month for fusin’ horoscopes an’ Moi.
A zillion bugs an’ critters invaded my digestive tract an’ rendered my output kinda PYEEEEUUUUURRRRK!
So I figured nowan needed no kinda “Astrology as Vomit Spray” counsel to carry their lives forward.
Anyways, now you here, I am minded to wonder why you sniffin’ around in the past lookin’ for succor.
Ain’t you got no kinda life?
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YOUR HANDY HOROSCOPE CHECKLIST
Gotta figure ifya gonna derive maxo benefit fromya horoscope you gotta imbibe its wisdom all proper.
Simply follow my super-practical 10-step Guide, an’ horoscope readin NIRVANA gonna be thine, tellya…
Douse me in sunlight.
Float me in air.
Breathe on me sweetly.
What else is there?