Astrology Fulla Rompolicious Stoopid For A Planet Packin’ Big Time Frickin’ Crap

divine astrologer promoting eternal radianceSlide thumbnail

Here's Whatchya Woulda Won If'n Only You'd Found Me Sooner

Scopes — Dec '18

HOROSCOPES

horoscopes with predictions for luck fame & fortune in september 2018

NEED HOT TIPS FOR GETTIN’ THE MOST OUTTA YOUR HOROSCOPE?

Count Me The Hell On In, Sister!

How This Works

Sorry, sweetie — but it is brutally simple.

Septembah 2018 is gone.

She is dust.

Feeble or strong, happy or sad — you are gone also.

Time is NOW, so don’t linger here too long.

It is the past, an’ it is over.

Get frickin’ movin’…

SEPTEMBAH 2018 HOROSCOPES

“Help My Feeble Ass … For Seriously I Be WAY TITSED”

Gotta figure Septembah 2018 was naaaht a cool month for fusin’ horoscopes an’ Moi.

Reason?

A zillion bugs an’ critters invaded my digestive tract an’ rendered my output kinda PYEEEEUUUUURRRRK!

So I figured nowan needed no kinda “Astrology as Vomit Spray” counsel to carry their lives forward.

Anyways, now you here, I am minded to wonder why you sniffin’ around in the past lookin’ for succor.

Ain’t you got no kinda life?

Interested In Astrology Like You Could Die? Want a Steady Squirt of Astro Action Pumpin’ From Your Twitter Roll?

Top solootion is to follow Moi on Twitter.

Srsly.

YOUR HANDY HOROSCOPE CHECKLIST

Gotta figure ifya gonna derive maxo benefit fromya horoscope you gotta imbibe its wisdom all proper.

Simply follow my super-practical 10-step Guide, an’ horoscope readin NIRVANA gonna be thine, tellya…

horoscope checklist infographic helps everyone whatever their starsign
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Douse me in sunlight.

Float me in air.

Breathe on me sweetly.

What else is there?

Gowan — Squirt This Baby Around Like Fizzin' Champagne