SAGITTARIUS SEASON DATES ADVENTURE
Wanna know why Sagittarius Season dates adventure?
Aw, see — cos evry millisecond counts … right from the first bombasm momentsa Centaur Romp come firin’ up outta November 22nd to the pre-Christmas ‘danglin’ from the rafters withya titties hangin’ out’ bonhomie-kinda-horseplay precedes the Capricornian Doom Balloon launch on December 22nd … an’ evry single millisecond demands exhilaration lest lamenessa sprit an’ stuckonessa brain rob life’s delisho sweetness fromya like bandits creepin’ onto the setta sum cowboy movie an’ makin’ off with the horses, the hats, the pistols, the whips, the poker cards, the whisky, the rickety town, the bad guys, the lame mules … an’ alla the fuckin’ cowboys.
Tellya, Sagittarian milliseconds hurl ‘emselves at action … can’t stop ‘emselves … an’ flesh an’ blood an’ soul an’ spirit an’ ass kinda get sucked on along in the temporal whirlpool.
It is like bein’ on a perpetyool date with The Beyond.
Problem is — what ‘bout resta the Zodiacs?
How they gonna max out on this wildly rompolicious hoss-themed pseudo-epoch?
Pray Tell Us, O Princess! Lay Bare Your “Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure” Secrets!
K, so I ran a feature a while back on how non-Leo Zodiacs could max out on the Leo vibe (yanno, back in the Summer, when we all had such fun with the Solar Eclipse an’ shit?), an’ I figured I would lead with sumthin’ similar this time round.
So what I got here is a 5-point primer to the best stuff Sagittarius Season got on offer that evryone can tap into, they wanna.
Thinka it like you gowin’ on 5 consecutive dates.
Ooh ooh — yeah, picture a bar … or a beach.
You got Sun onya hair, sand atchya feet, weirdsy cartoon crustaceans dancin’ onya toenails … or ifya runnin’ with the beach scenario, mebbe there are cocktails an’ olive-rich nibbles in a decorative bowl.
Anyways, 5 srsly Sagittarian vibes gonna come along an’ sweepya offya feet whileya are chillin’.
So … jus’ take a sec to shutya eyes an’ imagine that bar or beach scenario … or whatever vista takesya fancy (but not jus’ yet or howya gonna read the next part?)
The air fills with humongously gregarious whinnyin’!
You hear hooves poundin’ (even ifya are on a beach or swimmin’ in the sea, cos celestial stagehands jus’ laid on a phantom cakewalk) … an’ horsey odors swell deep inya nostrils as the first swishy tail swats onya cheek like the whippa sum dominatrix warmin’ up her tassles…
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #1
Brute Wanderlust On A Roll
Gotta figure Sagittarius is never stuck.
As a mutable sign, we got big time roamsies an’ do not wishta be tied down — less’n it is onea them gal in flouncy apparel chained to a railtrack cosplay scenarios, in which case plz can I also have a guy playin’ pianer for extra melodrama?
Parta that unstuckiness comes from the rebellious streak we got says I do not care for boundaries — butchya gotta figure here how this upstartishness differs massively from the Aquarian Uranian disruption-for the-hella-it deal.
Sajjo is ruled by Joopiter — the so-called Mr Expansive Astro-wiener — an’ so the rebellion we got is more exploratory … more plain jus’ seekin’ growth an’ wisdom.
So, askya self — what boundaries I got in my life?
An’ why is it I cannot … or will not … strike out beyond ‘em?
See, cos Sagittarian wanderlust got way more to offer than rompin’ round a forest in the buff.
Prolly that is jus’ a stock astrological story, yanno, how Sagittarius Season meansya gotta book a holiday or visit a zoo fulla sportsy animals.
Like it or not, Beyond is whereya gotta grow into, where’er an’ whate’er it be — or isya plan to ossify … tread the same steps till the enda your days?
Gotta figure here how intentional steppin’ out into the Beyond is way preferable to havin’ the Beyond thrust uponya by outside forces unknown.
So your fist Sagittarius Season Adventure Date is with brute wanderlust on a roll — beyond boundaries mebbe feel like permanent fixtures.
So free up, step out, challenge yourself to wander.
Noo place, noo TV show, noo author, noo experience, noo friend.
You got mobility an’ you got smarts — so go test sum boundaries, fulla exploratory generosity … an’ see what noo experiences touch sweet onya mojo.
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #2
IYF Filosophical BS
Plenty other Zodiacs compartmentalize their thinkin’.
They got one setta rules for dealin’ with people, another setta rules for copin’ with demandin’ days, an’ still further rules for pluckin’ fecal bobbles offa their pet stick insect’s ass.
For Sagittarius, evrythin’ is entwined together … sumhow.
In a Cosmos held together as a definable entity (even though it is infinite an’ prolly bustin’ with weirdsy aliens), gotta figure on sum unifyin’ shit be gowin’ down.
Shrink that idea to the hooman Cosmos, an’ there gotta be forces behind alla the stuff unites an’ divides us.
Point I’m gettin’ at here is how Sagittarians got real passion for the big idea.
I’m not thinkin’ necessarily original here (like mebbe Aries), nor clever (like Gemini or Virgo) — but jus’ some vast, all-encompassin’, superJovian concept got dominion over broader ishoos than, say, most pizzas are circular but some stores also sell square ones.
So … ask yourself — you got any real big ideas?
Shit so wacko stoopid you can barely admit to yourself that you was the one thunk the fucker up?
K, so that is your honorary Sagittarian Filosophical BS.
For this second Sagittarius Season Adventure Date, go find sum random person in the mall … or in a bar … or inya class … an make with the IYF proclamations.
To hell with logical structure, consistency, narrative — or evenya fuckin’ reputation — jus’ give that monster filosophical idea sum Out Loud Up Front airtime, full swagger.
Power through, start to finish, no pausin’ for breath, tillya captive audience got zero escape options beyond dyin’ or peein’ their pants.
Gotta big idea, you gotta feel the zeal from the inside, tellya.
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #3
Lusty Experimental Sex
Prolly this one gonna cause sum trouble on a practical level less’n we tread real careful.
I don’t want nowan comin’ on all lusty on the bus cos Princess Balestra said I gotta — so for this Sagittarius Season Adventure Date prolly we gotta fix up sumthin’ for those quieter moments when *ahem* lusty experimental sex features a phantom partner … or groop.
Mebbe you workin’, or cruisin’ the net … or cookin’, or chillin’ out all yogically serene — when suddenly the Friskiness Alarm goes off inya Prime Tinglydangly Area.
Gotta bringya self off or kill sum fucker, right? — an’ I would ask here, this musculoskeletogenital workout gonna be Same Old Same Old?
Tried an’ trusted favorites been pullin’ on the cum sinceya hormonally teened the heck on up outta Kiddyland?
An’ doesya phantom lover always gotta be Benedict Cumberbatch?
Wearin’ a cape … an’ leather pants … smokin’ a cigar … *dear sweet Jesus*.
See cos this quiet time mebbe jus’ another way you got stuck — a routine setta self-pleasurin’ strategies you kinda flit between like butterflies hittin’ on limited flora opportoonities in a butterflyarium.
For this third Sagittarius Season Adventure Date, prolly you gotta try sumthin’ different, even if it don’t work out.
Ifya are cucumber, mebbe try zucchini … ifya are feathers, mebbe try paintbrush an’ molasses … ifya are fast tillya skin peels off, mebbe try slower thanya ever gone before.
I would wanna suggest how this deeply personal time (even ifya got Matt Damon, Tom Hiddleston an’ Scarlett Johansson along for the ride, jus’ to bring out the best in the sublimely tethered Cumberbatch) is trooly a comfort zone.
C’mon, cosya only do it to feel real yummo, right?
But yet again, we see boundaries an’ a weird kinda limitin’ formality — less’n you strike out sumplace noo with exploratory determination.
So mebbe get plannin’ for that next rendez-vous with spontaneous horno.
Pack a bag fulla essentials, same asya do resta the time.
Chili pickle don’t work out, you can always eat it…
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #4
Think So Positive That Capricorns Can’t Stop ‘Emselves From Attackin’ You
Aw, c’mon — cos we Sagittarians are such optimists, right?
Always a smile, always a laugh, always a cheery demeanor gonna pluck upya spirits!
Tbh sumtimes I figure evryone believes we are free from misery an’ torment, like pain an’ sadness bypassed our lives so we could go motivate the Totally Frickin’ Blighted.
But such an existence would transform us into bigger monsters than we already are.
You mean … that loudmouth bragger packing the bullshit never experiences sadness as they cavort the place in those badly co-ordinated multi-rainbow “outfits”?
Thing is, negative stuff sucksya in if’n you let it — an’ the loudest voice you got yellin’ it IYF — frank an’ true, like there ain’t no escape — is YOU.
We all got pain an’ sadness, an’ we all got The Voice.
An’ the worst part is … we listen in regular an’ hang on evry word.
So for my 4th Sagittarius Season Adventure Date suggestion, I would wanna figure on a choice — some space to disagree with your inner voice’s fixed proclamations ‘bout your own demise.
She says, I’m ugly … you gotta have it out with her.
She says, I’m useless at singin’ … you gotta show her what you got.
She says, I’m crazy to be bringing myself off with a banana while skydivin’ … prolly you already applyin’ the kinda Sagittarian wisdom I been talkin’ ‘bout so far. Ha!
Point is, you gotta step outside that pessimistic narrative stuff an’ fix up a smarter IRL story or you gonna shrinkya life from the inside before any enemies come kickin’.
No place is more confinin’ an’ stiflin’ than the gruesum corner we force ourselves to stand in sumtimes.
Nowan says we gotta go there, nowan leads us there in shackles — we walk willingly an’ forlornly to a prison we built ourselves, an’ we self-incarcerate for hours or days or weeks, feedback loopin’ the fuck outta our life chances by toonin’ in to stuff ain’t never gonna help us.
Like you, I got purely selfish reasons for haulin’ myself outta that place with Optimism’s twinkliest lasso.
But cos I got alla these stoopid Sagittarian ideas ‘bout hoomanity in kinda general, I would want always to throw on the pancake makeup … even when my heart bleeds … jus’ in case the person I got right in fronta me is secretly stuck in their own self-inflicted corner an’ can’t break free.
If’n they especially lucky, I might jus’ come on so effusively OTT I am a fuckin’ embarrassment.
See cos that old line — there is always someone worse off than yourself — is so monstrously transformative when placed in the wrong hands.
Tbh, I lost counta the times I been so tastelessly ghastly with my IYF Uberglee I could compel even the most miserable wretch to take big time steps up the Self-worth Ladder.
Gee, I may be a lousy sister — but at least I ain’t Beyond Fucking Unbearable like Ms Shoutytits here…
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #5
Lights! Centaur! Action!
Gotta love how the Zodiac packs a real neat menagerie.
Las’ time Mother Cosmosis stopped by my apartment to check I was eatin’ proper, we got to discussin’ Zodiac beests over a chilled Smirnoff concoction I threw together.
“So why no duckies or giraffes?” I said.
M.C. flashed onea her as I explain this with the linguistic sidea my brain, I am also scramblin’ for an excuse to vamoose, usin’ the stage magician’s assistant chained up in a box parta my brain expressions. “Personally, I blame the very first astrologers. What they had in the heavens was a deliciously sophisticated Rorschach test — a tremendous opportunity for rendering imaginary undersea cuttlefish or off-the-scale-crazy marsupials from patterns in the stars. Problem they had was that most of the planet’s more exotic species had yet to be discovered, so they were limited to familiar creatures in their everyday surroundings.”
“Like half-horse half-mule hybrids or aquagoats clearly gonna be snuffed by most any habitat?”
“Ah … that was my suggestion,” said M.C., leanin’ back on my dolphin cushion flea market bargain. “ If memory serves me correctly, there was a call for ducks and giraffes, just like you suggested — along with dogs, pigs and pythons. In the latter case, I told these fledgling astrologers straight out that a python would represent the ultimate in uncreative expression because anyone could draw innumerable wiggly lines through a map of the stars and call each of them any kind of snake—”
“Fuck Moi! That is so not science!”
“To be perfectly frank, I consider the Sagittarius and Capricorn animals to be some of my finest ever creations.”
Ha! Gotta love an entreprenoor, I guess.
With that remark, Mother Cosmosis finished her drink an’ fucked off round backa Plooto.
Point is, prolly a centaur is the most apt beest any Sagittarian could wish for to be — ‘specially durin’ the Sajjo Centaur Rompfest!
We got energy, fantasy kudos, immodestly sporsty musculature, shitloadsa energy, great-lookin’ schlongs & boobies — an’ a sublimely beautiful metaphorical weapon.
(No time to go inta alla that stuff right here, butchya can check this one out over at Sagittarian Firepower, u wanna.)
So, listen — final parta my Sagittarius Season Adventure Date pulls in pseudo-cosplay, defo roleplay, an’ a hinta shamanic tradition — not to mention blatant whinnyin’ at considerable volume if you so desire.
Prolly you gotta fix up sum superprivate quiet time whenya ain’t either meditatin’, writin’, sleepin’, dreamin’ or rubbin’ your cunnyflaps to submission with a shoe.
For costoom, no need to go to a hire store — jus’ pull down a drape an’ cut it all to horsey tail ribbons before attachin’ it to your butt with duct tape.
Then you gotta sit real still.
Breathe in the super fresh air, feel the Sun beatin’ down onya naked body (oh yeah, I forgot to mention — strip down to zilcho before you make with the tail), an’ soak up the spirita nature asya shutya eyes an’ journey far to Guided Meditation Centaur Rompo Forest Land.
(For meditative tips, try my Stillness For The Volatile article — I wrote it out for vigorous Fire types can’t get no peace, so it may be especially helpful here whileya chill out an’ summon your Inner Centaur.)
Feel on that centaur body, that centaur persona.
Use evry imaginative smart you got to ask … what that be like? What I say if’n I had that kinda voice?
Then for mebbe five minnows, go check out this curious place where you discover yourself to be.
This space fulla Amber’s books or Zack’s football stuffs — or whoever is this stranger you jus’ encountered.
Speak aloud, anythin’ u wanna — it is only Centaurstuffs, to yourself, same as ever.
Ask questions, speculate on answers, mebbe even cavort robustly.
Main deal — let the spontaneous dialog you have with this mysterious stranger flow free as it wantsta.
Who cares if’n you cuss or say stoopid stuff?
An’ when the 5 minnows is done, go find a mirror.
Watch as the outered imaginary inner centaur morphs into your actyool Zodiac beest (an’ if’n you already a Sagittarian, mebbe switch sex an’ rework your hair) … an’ keep talkin’.
(Sumplace in my Regular Monthly Horoscopes I conferred Honorary Duck Status on Librans cos they got no weirdsy animal out front — so you guys’re covered for this parta the shamanic revelation.)
Now head back to those familiar books or football stuffs … or whatever you got.
Sit with ‘em a while, lay back an’ take in your space — as a lion, crab, scorpion, bull or duck — an’ take ownership.
Your life springs out Eternal from the present moment, always.
An’ right now, it is Sagittarius Season kinda Here & Now.
Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — The Hands-On Climax
So thereya have it — Sagittarius Season smarts most anywan can pull on.
For sure, we Sajjos got many more attribyoots, an’ prolly other astrology people elsewhere on the internets got a take on what is most important.
Such a shame mosta ‘em got the fucker wrong.
(I dunno, mebbe they jus’ bangin’ on ‘bout good-natured Sagittarian humor.)
Point is, wanna pass on practical shit gonna mebbe dinky upya life.
As we plummet toward Oblivion on this haplessly evolvin’ rock, gotta figure a little costoomed roleplay an’ jackin’ off advice goes a long way.
So go do sumthin’ real special with Sagittarius Season, be ye courageous Lion, scintillatin’ Twinno, or perfectly balanced Mallard.
Adventurous energies bustin’ with optimistic brio gotchya back with real enthoosiasm rn, Sweetie!
Title Image c/o ZERIG @Pixabay
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