<span class="sdata" title="22"></span> <span class="sdata" title="11, 2017"></span>

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure

By | <span class="sdata2" title="2017-11-22T11:55:36+00:00"></span> |Choice, Fire Signs, Motivation, Practical Astrology, Sagittarius|0 Comments


Wanna know why Sagittarius Season dates adventure?

Aw, see — cos evry millisecond counts … right from the first bombasm momentsa Centaur Romp come firin’ up outta November 22nd to the pre-Christmas ‘danglin’ from the rafters withya titties hangin’ out’ bonhomie-kinda-horseplay precedes the Capricornian Doom Balloon launch on December 22nd … an’ evry single millisecond demands exhilaration lest lamenessa sprit an’ stuckonessa brain rob life’s delisho sweetness fromya like bandits creepin’ onto the setta sum cowboy movie an’ makin’ off with the horses, the hats, the pistols, the whips, the poker cards, the whisky, the rickety town, the bad guys, the lame mules … an’ alla the fuckin’ cowboys.

Tellya, Sagittarian milliseconds hurl ‘emselves at action … can’t stop ‘emselves … an’ flesh an’ blood an’ soul an’ spirit an’ ass kinda get sucked on along in the temporal whirlpool.

It is like bein’ on a perpetyool date with The Beyond.

Problem is — what ‘bout resta the Zodiacs?

How they gonna max out on this wildly rompolicious hoss-themed pseudo-epoch?

Pray Tell Us, O Princess! Lay Bare Your “Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure” Secrets!

K, so I ran a feature a while back on how non-Leo Zodiacs could max out on the Leo vibe (yanno, back in the Summer, when we all had such fun with the Solar Eclipse an’ shit?), an’ I figured I would lead with sumthin’ similar this time round.

So what I got here is a 5-point primer to the best stuff Sagittarius Season got on offer that evryone can tap into, they wanna.

Thinka it like you gowin’ on 5 consecutive dates.

Ooh ooh — yeah, picture a bar … or a beach.

You got Sun onya hair, sand atchya feet, weirdsy cartoon crustaceans dancin’ onya toenails … or ifya runnin’ with the beach scenario, mebbe there are cocktails an’ olive-rich nibbles in a decorative bowl.

Anyways, 5 srsly Sagittarian vibes gonna come along an’ sweepya offya feet whileya are chillin’.

So … jus’ take a sec to shutya eyes an’ imagine that bar or beach scenario … or whatever vista takesya fancy (but not jus’ yet or howya gonna read the next part?)

The air fills with humongously gregarious whinnyin’!

You hear hooves poundin’ (even ifya are on a beach or swimmin’ in the sea, cos celestial stagehands jus’ laid on a phantom cakewalk) … an’ horsey odors swell deep inya nostrils as the first swishy tail swats onya cheek like the whippa sum dominatrix warmin’ up her tassles…

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #1

Brute Wanderlust On A Roll

Gotta figure Sagittarius is never stuck.

As a mutable sign, we got big time roamsies an’ do not wishta be tied down — less’n it is onea them gal in flouncy apparel chained to a railtrack cosplay scenarios, in which case plz can I also have a guy playin’ pianer for extra melodrama?

Parta that unstuckiness comes from the rebellious streak we got says I do not care for boundaries — butchya gotta figure here how this upstartishness differs massively from the Aquarian Uranian disruption-for the-hella-it deal.

Sajjo is ruled by Joopiter — the so-called Mr Expansive Astro-wiener — an’ so the rebellion we got is more exploratory … more plain jus’ seekin’ growth an’ wisdom.

So, askya self — what boundaries I got in my life?

An’ why is it I cannot … or will not … strike out beyond ‘em?

See, cos Sagittarian wanderlust got way more to offer than rompin’ round a forest in the buff.

Prolly that is jus’ a stock astrological story, yanno, how Sagittarius Season meansya gotta book a holiday or visit a zoo fulla sportsy animals.

Like it or not, Beyond is whereya gotta grow into, where’er an’ whate’er it be — or isya plan to ossify … tread the same steps till the enda your days?

Gotta figure here how intentional steppin’ out into the Beyond is way preferable to havin’ the Beyond thrust uponya by outside forces unknown.

So your fist Sagittarius Season Adventure Date is with brute wanderlust on a roll — beyond boundaries mebbe feel like permanent fixtures.

So free up, step out, challenge yourself to wander.

Noo place, noo TV show, noo author, noo experience, noo friend.

You got mobility an’ you got smarts — so go test sum boundaries, fulla exploratory generosity … an’ see what noo experiences touch sweet onya mojo.

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #2

IYF Filosophical BS

Plenty other Zodiacs compartmentalize their thinkin’.

They got one setta rules for dealin’ with people, another setta rules for copin’ with demandin’ days, an’ still further rules for pluckin’ fecal bobbles offa their pet stick insect’s ass.

For Sagittarius, evrythin’ is entwined together … sumhow.

In a Cosmos held together as a definable entity (even though it is infinite an’ prolly bustin’ with weirdsy aliens), gotta figure on sum unifyin’ shit be gowin’ down.

Shrink that idea to the hooman Cosmos, an’ there gotta be forces behind alla the stuff unites an’ divides us.

Point I’m gettin’ at here is how Sagittarians got real passion for the big idea.

I’m not thinkin’ necessarily original here (like mebbe Aries), nor clever (like Gemini or Virgo) — but jus’ some vast, all-encompassin’, superJovian concept got dominion over broader ishoos than, say, most pizzas are circular but some stores also sell square ones.

So … ask yourself — you got any real big ideas?

Yanno, monsters?

Shit so wacko stoopid you can barely admit to yourself that you was the one thunk the fucker up?

K, so that is your honorary Sagittarian Filosophical BS.

For this second Sagittarius Season Adventure Date, go find sum random person in the mall … or in a bar … or inya class … an make with the IYF proclamations.

To hell with logical structure, consistency, narrative — or evenya fuckin’ reputation — jus’ give that monster filosophical idea sum Out Loud Up Front airtime, full swagger.

Power through, start to finish, no pausin’ for breath, tillya captive audience got zero escape options beyond dyin’ or peein’ their pants.

Gotta big idea, you gotta feel the zeal from the inside, tellya.

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #3

Lusty Experimental Sex

Prolly this one gonna cause sum trouble on a practical level less’n we tread real careful.

I don’t want nowan comin’ on all lusty on the bus cos Princess Balestra said I gotta — so for this Sagittarius Season Adventure Date prolly we gotta fix up sumthin’ for those quieter moments when *ahem* lusty experimental sex features a phantom partner … or groop.

Happens, right?

Mebbe you workin’, or cruisin’ the net … or cookin’, or chillin’ out all yogically serene — when suddenly the Friskiness Alarm goes off inya Prime Tinglydangly Area.

Gotta bringya self off or kill sum fucker, right? — an’ I would ask here, this musculoskeletogenital workout gonna be Same Old Same Old?

Tried an’ trusted favorites been pullin’ on the cum sinceya hormonally teened the heck on up outta Kiddyland?

An’ doesya phantom lover always gotta be Benedict Cumberbatch?

Wearin’ a cape … an’ leather pants … smokin’ a cigar … *dear sweet Jesus*.

See cos this quiet time mebbe jus’ another way you got stuck — a routine setta self-pleasurin’ strategies you kinda flit between like butterflies hittin’ on limited flora opportoonities in a butterflyarium.

For this third Sagittarius Season Adventure Date, prolly you gotta try sumthin’ different, even if it don’t work out.

Ifya are cucumber, mebbe try zucchini … ifya are feathers, mebbe try paintbrush an’ molasses … ifya are fast tillya skin peels off, mebbe try slower thanya ever gone before.

I would wanna suggest how this deeply personal time (even ifya got Matt Damon, Tom Hiddleston an’ Scarlett Johansson along for the ride, jus’ to bring out the best in the sublimely tethered Cumberbatch) is trooly a comfort zone.

C’mon, cosya only do it to feel real yummo, right?

But yet again, we see boundaries an’ a weird kinda limitin’ formality — less’n you strike out sumplace noo with exploratory determination.

So mebbe get plannin’ for that next rendez-vous with spontaneous horno.

Pack a bag fulla essentials, same asya do resta the time.

Chili pickle don’t work out, you can always eat it…

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #4

Think So Positive That Capricorns Can’t Stop ‘Emselves From Attackin’ You

Aw, c’mon — cos we Sagittarians are such optimists, right?

Always a smile, always a laugh, always a cheery demeanor gonna pluck upya spirits!

Tbh sumtimes I figure evryone believes we are free from misery an’ torment, like pain an’ sadness bypassed our lives so we could go motivate the Totally Frickin’ Blighted.

But such an existence would transform us into bigger monsters than we already are.

You mean … that loudmouth bragger packing the bullshit never experiences sadness as they cavort the place in those badly co-ordinated multi-rainbow “outfits”?

Thing is, negative stuff sucksya in if’n you let it — an’ the loudest voice you got yellin’ it IYF — frank an’ true, like there ain’t no escape — is YOU.

We all got pain an’ sadness, an’ we all got The Voice.

An’ the worst part is … we listen in regular an’ hang on evry word.

So for my 4th Sagittarius Season Adventure Date suggestion, I would wanna figure on a choice — some space to disagree with your inner voice’s fixed proclamations ‘bout your own demise.

She says, I’m ugly … you gotta have it out with her.

She says, I’m useless at singin’ … you gotta show her what you got.

She says, I’m crazy to be bringing myself off with a banana while skydivin’ … prolly you already applyin’ the kinda Sagittarian wisdom I been talkin’ ‘bout so far. Ha!

Point is, you gotta step outside that pessimistic narrative stuff an’ fix up a smarter IRL story or you gonna shrinkya life from the inside before any enemies come kickin’.

No place is more confinin’ an’ stiflin’ than the gruesum corner we force ourselves to stand in sumtimes.

Nowan says we gotta go there, nowan leads us there in shackles — we walk willingly an’ forlornly to a prison we built ourselves, an’ we self-incarcerate for hours or days or weeks, feedback loopin’ the fuck outta our life chances by toonin’ in to stuff ain’t never gonna help us.

Like you, I got purely selfish reasons for haulin’ myself outta that place with Optimism’s twinkliest lasso.

But cos I got alla these stoopid Sagittarian ideas ‘bout hoomanity in kinda general, I would want always to throw on the pancake makeup … even when my heart bleeds … jus’ in case the person I got right in fronta me is secretly stuck in their own self-inflicted corner an’ can’t break free.

If’n they especially lucky, I might jus’ come on so effusively OTT I am a fuckin’ embarrassment.

See cos that old line — there is always someone worse off than yourself — is so monstrously transformative when placed in the wrong hands.

Tbh, I lost counta the times I been so tastelessly ghastly with my IYF Uberglee I could compel even the most miserable wretch to take big time steps up the Self-worth Ladder.

Gee, I may be a lousy sister — but at least I ain’t Beyond Fucking Unbearable like Ms Shoutytits here…

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — Match #5

Lights! Centaur! Action!

Gotta love how the Zodiac packs a real neat menagerie.

Las’ time Mother Cosmosis stopped by my apartment to check I was eatin’ proper, we got to discussin’ Zodiac beests over a chilled Smirnoff concoction I threw together.

“So why no duckies or giraffes?” I said.

M.C. flashed onea her as I explain this with the linguistic sidea my brain, I am also scramblin’ for an excuse to vamoose, usin’ the stage magician’s assistant chained up in a box parta my brain expressions. “Personally, I blame the very first astrologers. What they had in the heavens was a deliciously sophisticated Rorschach test — a tremendous opportunity for rendering imaginary undersea cuttlefish or off-the-scale-crazy marsupials from patterns in the stars. Problem they had was that most of the planet’s more exotic species had yet to be discovered, so they were limited to familiar creatures in their everyday surroundings.”

“Like half-horse half-mule hybrids or aquagoats clearly gonna be snuffed by most any habitat?”

“Ah … that was my suggestion,” said M.C., leanin’ back on my dolphin cushion flea market bargain. “ If memory serves me correctly, there was a call for ducks and giraffes, just like you suggested — along with dogs, pigs and pythons. In the latter case, I told these fledgling astrologers straight out that a python would represent the ultimate in uncreative expression because anyone could draw innumerable wiggly lines through a map of the stars and call each of them any kind of snake—”

“Fuck Moi! That is so not science!

“To be perfectly frank, I consider the Sagittarius and Capricorn animals to be some of my finest ever creations.”

Ha! Gotta love an entreprenoor, I guess.

With that remark, Mother Cosmosis finished her drink an’ fucked off round backa Plooto.

Point is, prolly a centaur is the most apt beest any Sagittarian could wish for to be — ‘specially durin’ the Sajjo Centaur Rompfest!

We got energy, fantasy kudos, immodestly sporsty musculature, shitloadsa energy, great-lookin’ schlongs & boobies — an’ a sublimely beautiful metaphorical weapon.

(No time to go inta alla that stuff right here, butchya can check this one out over at Sagittarian Firepower, u wanna.)

So, listen — final parta my Sagittarius Season Adventure Date pulls in pseudo-cosplay, defo roleplay, an’ a hinta shamanic tradition — not to mention blatant whinnyin’ at considerable volume if you so desire.

Prolly you gotta fix up sum superprivate quiet time whenya ain’t either meditatin’, writin’, sleepin’, dreamin’ or rubbin’ your cunnyflaps to submission with a shoe.

For costoom, no need to go to a hire store — jus’ pull down a drape an’ cut it all to horsey tail ribbons before attachin’ it to your butt with duct tape.

Then you gotta sit real still.

Breathe in the super fresh air, feel the Sun beatin’ down onya naked body (oh yeah, I forgot to mention — strip down to zilcho before you make with the tail), an’ soak up the spirita nature asya shutya eyes an’ journey far to Guided Meditation Centaur Rompo Forest Land.

(For meditative tips, try my Stillness For The Volatile article — I wrote it out for vigorous Fire types can’t get no peace, so it may be especially helpful here whileya chill out an’ summon your Inner Centaur.)

Feel on that centaur body, that centaur persona.

Use evry imaginative smart you got to ask … what that be like? What I say if’n I had that kinda voice?

Then for mebbe five minnows, go check out this curious place where you discover yourself to be.

This space fulla Amber’s books or Zack’s football stuffs — or whoever is this stranger you jus’ encountered.

Speak aloud, anythin’ u wanna — it is only Centaurstuffs, to yourself, same as ever.

Ask questions, speculate on answers, mebbe even cavort robustly.

Main deal — let the spontaneous dialog you have with this mysterious stranger flow free as it wantsta.

Who cares if’n you cuss or say stoopid stuff?

An’ when the 5 minnows is done, go find a mirror.

Watch as the outered imaginary inner centaur morphs into your actyool Zodiac beest (an’ if’n you already a Sagittarian, mebbe switch sex an’ rework your hair) … an’ keep talkin’.

(Sumplace in my Regular Monthly Horoscopes I conferred Honorary Duck Status on Librans cos they got no weirdsy animal out front — so you guys’re covered for this parta the shamanic revelation.)

Now head back to those familiar books or football stuffs … or whatever you got.

Sit with ‘em a while, lay back an’ take in your space — as a lion, crab, scorpion, bull or duck — an’ take ownership.

Your life springs out Eternal from the present moment, always.

An’ right now, it is Sagittarius Season kinda Here & Now.

Sagittarius Season Dates Adventure — The Hands-On Climax

So thereya have it — Sagittarius Season smarts most anywan can pull on.

For sure, we Sajjos got many more attribyoots, an’ prolly other astrology people elsewhere on the internets got a take on what is most important.

Such a shame mosta ‘em got the fucker wrong.

(I dunno, mebbe they jus’ bangin’ on ‘bout good-natured Sagittarian humor.)

Point is, wanna pass on practical shit gonna mebbe dinky upya life.

As we plummet toward Oblivion on this haplessly evolvin’ rock, gotta figure a little costoomed roleplay an’ jackin’ off advice goes a long way.

So go do sumthin’ real special with Sagittarius Season, be ye courageous Lion, scintillatin’ Twinno, or perfectly balanced Mallard.

Adventurous energies bustin’ with optimistic brio gotchya back with real enthoosiasm rn, Sweetie!

Title Image c/o ZERIG @Pixabay

Spread the love, slip in the bookmark, mix up the linky.

<span class="sdata" title="20"></span> <span class="sdata" title="03, 2017"></span>

Spring Fever Cures All

By | <span class="sdata2" title="2018-03-21T07:56:03+00:00"></span> |Meditation, Motivation, Practical Astrology, Spring Equinox, Spring Fever|0 Comments

Tellya, Spring Fever cures EVRYTHIN’. Period.

But ifya wanna feel its power, you gotta let it in onya.

Jettison the Old, flip out fulla zest with the Noo, typea thing.

Commit to that kinda catalytic plan, an’ your life gonna rock out on positive vibes pumpin’ through its essential pipe networks all the way to the squirtyhosey tips, teats, pores an’ vestibularities, tellya.

Best part?

You get a hefty kick start up the motivation ass RIGHT NOW as…


It is troo.  It is for real.  It is happenin’.

We got a noo Zodiac cycle beginnin’ as Pisces relinquishes hold on alla her exquisite dreams an’ fancies — an’ darin’ Aries grabs ‘em an’ runs with ‘em, bold noo frontiers in her sights.

(I got more on the recent Pisces dreamo phase HERE, jus’ for slooshie retro value.)

This is the moment when Spring Fever cures all!

An’ I would want this message to figure way beyond the Equinox, an’ last the whole year through — like Christmas kinda don’t.

Tellya, anythin’ you got that is lame, deadbeat, spent, exhausted or fuckoed gonna receive a celestial energy boost to revive, rejuvenate an’ resurrectya vision, purpose — an’ execution!

Mercury, Venus an’ Uranus are already pre-loaded in Aries, an’ when the Spring Equinox drops, dynamism gonna be fully reborn — along with plentya opportoonities for split pants asya leap in the air an’ kickya heels.

Thing is, such is the powera the energies gonna be released, I would not want anyone to be consoomed in the ensuin’ fireballs — nor waste the precious incendiary cargo on offer from this Aries-fueled Equinox fest.

So I got five pointers forya, gonna speedya along withoutya gettin’ all stoopid, K?


Here’s my hit list, plain an’ simple…






Spring Fever Cures BODY —

Throw On Sum Sporty Skimpies & Be In The Streets

This is no time for sluggin’ around in winter clothes or strappin’ portable heaters to your back.

You gotta cast alla that offaya like sum burlesque gal peelin’ downta the strawbos.

But remember, 2017 ain’t no torrid rompfest (more’s the frickin’ pity), so ‘steada bouncin’ out into the street in the buff, you gonna load up with super dinky, super skimpy sportsgear.

Trick here is absolute bare essentials, jus’ enoughta cover upya tinglydanglies, cos I wantcha to test the fresh noo air to the max — with verve an’ precocity.

Go cavort exotically!

Run! Leap! Skip! Hop! Cartwheel!

Whateverya got, get it out in the streets an’ soak up the energizin’ bravado on a SPRING FEVER CURES ALL ticket!

Want it. Desire it. Make it happen.

If’n you wanna, you could mebbe chant summa these astrology-themed Springtime mantras (an’ by chant, I mean bellow tillya spook all nearby canines the fuck outta their skins.)

I have Aries energy! I am lusty! I am gutsy! I am one revved-up bitch / SOB!

Life is about falling down 7 times and getting up 8 — unless you STAY ON YOUR FEET and KICK EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF THE WAY!

Gonna ram hard against reality till pearls spew out from under its shell!

Lo! I am Initiative’s Brightest Avatar, Bravery’s Staunchest Champion, Snogging’s Thrillsumest Breathtaker!

Watch me karate kick like a S.W.A.T. team ballerina as yawps to shame Walt Whitman bust my throat clean offa my frickin’ neck!

Yeah, yeah, I know summa these’re totally OTT — but that is the fuckin’ point right now.

You gotta get out there with pioneerin’ brio rompin’ roundya bloodstream — an’ beat Spring to the Equinox.

Those’re the rules.

Spring Fever Cures MIND —

Make Thrillsum With The Meditative Chillsum

Gotta figure a thrillout is the ultimate chillout.

Sumtimes, yogic flopout or serene reflection is the only wayta go if’n you wanna chill down on the stresso or flipya actschly OK rn tvm braino into a higher gear.

(Remember: meditative types do not sit cross-legged, flauntin’ their undercarriages, solely to get hitched in the sack.)

But the deal right now is not so much gowin’ with the stillness flow as keepin’ pace with the fireballs ragin’ all over — an’ maintainin’ composure in the facea their incendiary onslaught.

Thinka it like swimmin’ with dolphinsa flame: you gotta get close up an’ personal with the action — no sittin’ back, no jus’ lookin’.

So what we got on offer here is a real active stillness, an’ I would wanna suggest takin’ sumthin’ like T’ai Chi or a 10-move Yoga flowout sequence an’ uppin’ the speed on the mechanical cranko.

Canya maintain the same levela calm an’ composure at increased tempo asya would ifya wentya regular way?

If so, speed up sum more, bearin’ in mind you got a finite structure don’t want or need damagin’— this is still meditation, not sum killer ballistics porno.

Prolly you should start out with sumthin’ like my Stillness for The Volatile meditation, then carry that spirita flame into a pepped-up reflecto-workout.

If you wanna, mebbe you could punctuate the action an’ the flamogazo like alla the trooly pumped athletes who tone up an’ zone forward with HIITs.

Point is, this is more about the mind than the body (an’ I am not bein’ no heretic dualist here when I make this suggestion) — your focus in alla the movement is stillness while alla the Spring Fever energies rage in an’ outtaya.

How still canya be when fire threatensta obliterate or consoomya?

Prolly you won’t know tillya try it.

spring fever cures all when the Equinox fires up in Aries

Spring Fever Cures SPIRIT —

Race To The Edgea Danger

Gotta drop sum hardcore astro here, so ifya are jus’ cruisin’ by lookin’ for personal development tips or motivational strategies gonna thrustya toppa all known success pedestals — with no desireta have no astro schwango dumped onya — mebbe you should throw a bag overya head for 60 seconds an’ wait this one out.

I will hang on forya whileya locate a bag.

(An’ remember, the bags gonna suffocateya are mebbe the same semi-transparent blindfolds gonna enableya to cheat by readin’ on for my motivational success tips, an’ I would not want anyone dyin’ or sufferin’ a full blown cognitive dissonance attack — so be sureta go with a PAPER bag, or mebbe a wicker basket, K?)

Also — it is OKAY to read THIS PART — orya won’t know WHAT TO DO.

Got a bag?

K, so jus’ put it on an’ count to 60.

cya later. ☺

Meanwhile, devoted astro aficionados, I wanna jus’ say a few words about innocence, naivety  — an’ gettin’ super fresho with noo experiences.

That is the Aries spirit.

Thing is, so mucha what makes Aries so … Aries is all too often presented in the forma child imagry or narrative — yanno, alla that “Aries is the baby of the Zodiac, followed by Taurus the toddler”, and so on — all the way upta “Pisces the wizened old crone, baring her neck like a martyr before the Reaper’s shiniest sickle slices her tits off” typea thing.

There is narrative in that imagry — cos we are right at the starta a great noo Zodiac journey here rather than runnin’ down the final daysa sum spent old cycle — but I would not want the trooly adult qualities Aries got to be diminished by this (frankly arbitrary) viewpoint.

In my forthcomin’ HANDY ASTRO GUIDES, I touch on how Aries got a real life challenge.

Aries is edgy cos she got a real clear viewa life’s precipices — an’ she wants to run there so very much cos it is EXHILARATIN’ an’ it is LIFE.

That spirit does not belong solely to children (or youth), an’ in informed an’ conscious adult hands it delivers the entreprenoorial zoomo to effect much-needed change.

That, I guess, is the spirit I see on offer here as Pisces lays down an’ Aries rises up.

An’ we can all touch on summa that, if we wanna, cos that is how Spring Fever cures all.

Gotta remember, cyclic as the Zodiac wheel is, this 2017 spin ain’t never happened before.

(An’ ifya drop into my HOROSCOPES section, you can hop ahead to my 2017 Astro Summary an’ discover how inevitable planetary movements an’ interactions gonna ENSLAVE YA! Ha. Only jokin’.)

Like all novel phenomena, 2017 has edges, precipices — an’ dangers.

An’ what the Spring Equinox is sayin’ as it swells with dancin’ flame is mebbe you should get up offaya comfort zone bean bag an’ go experience noo an’ excitin’ adventures.

Jus’ gotta welcome back evryone put a bag over their head for that last part.

I figureya got the basis for mebbe a Halloween mask ifya cut out some eye slits an’ make with the menacin’ hues.

Jus’ don’t wear it yet, K?

Equinox may be all about adventure, but rompin’ around in a ghost mask alongside purty blooms don’t figure as onea my Spring Fever cures for anythin’.

You jus’ gonna look frickin’ stoopid.

Spring Fever Cures MOJO —

Ignition Is An Activity Never Has The Option To Grow Old

Perhaps the cruelest trick life plays is whenya got alla your favo stuffs close up an’ personal — an’ yet sumhow shit don’t work out.

I figure evryone got their own Dream Day they are mebbe pointin’ alla their aspirations toward.

I dunno, mebbe you are on a beach with allaya friends, cocktail in hand as the Sun plays a perfect panorama into a sensual miracle.

But what happens when Dreamo Days no longer cut it?

You are THERE doin’ THAT THING with THOSE PEOPLE — an’ yet sumhow, what you’ve experienced as dreamo alla your life lacks its usual luster.

Truth is, tarnish happens, even to the best an’ shiniest stuff we got.

It is a truth universally unacknowledged that time is a monster, I guess.

An’ though her intention is never to kill when she digs her teeth into our mortality, she can wound us real mean with the relentlessnessa her chompin’.

That is why we sumtimes walk away from Dreamo Days like we are bleedin’.

Tellya, I have yet to enjoy a single weddin’ cozza alla the Happiest Day of My Life people bein’ fuckin’ cunts to one another.

Point is, time demands change of us, whether we like it or not — an’ no matter whetherya are a motivated zealot intent on life-transformin’ supermorpho, or a comfy-bunny slacker dissolvin’ in blissful inertiasoup, seemsta me evryone responds to our inherently mutable Cosmos like shit is forever.

Time is a Dream Eater gonna stealya Dreamo Days fromya.

Starts with small things like the stoopid hamburger guy slippedya an unwanted gherkin or your teenage heart throb marries a total loser with a face like a frickin’ horse — an’ ends with you bedridden, energies all spent, while snotty grandkids fight over chocolates you ain’t got strength to taste, let alone eat.

When time challengesya Dreamo this way, feels likeya Mojo is down, never gonna rise up again.

But for Aries — an’ spring eternal — this is NEVER, NEVER, NEVER true, least not for long.

Thinka that last Mojo phrase as an internal monolog for a second.

My Mojo is down, an’ I am never gonna rise up again.

I figure evryone has said that kinda thing to ‘emselves at sum point — an’ felt the hurt.

But whatchya are really sayin’ is how you been bruised by change an’ desire the past’s return or continuation as a crutch gonna keepya gowin’ forward.


Say frickin’ what?

Truth is, to re-igniteya Mojo, you gonna need ignition.

But ignition is an activity never has the option to grow old.

Prolly it is truer to say ignition is an activity dies as it is bein’ born.

Combustion happens, ignition is OVER.

So you want ignition inya life, you gotta keep makin’ it happen over an’ over.

Start up, step out, stand anew.

Mojo is not like furniture. Or memories. Or mantras penned in blood.

It is momentarily fickle superpower blastin’ off cool stuff at the edgea your unfoldin’ life.

And dontcha frickin’ forget it!

Spring Fever Cures DRIVE —

Drill Down On Whatchya Want An’ Fire Off In THAT Direction

Gotta remember, Aries is a trooly active sign, thrives on thrills an’ adventure.

Single-minded an’ independent, Aries gets a fix on sum direction an’ jus’ goes for it.

Energy like that — real direct, real intended — is a useful commodityta have around.

Cos sumtimes we procrastinate or self pity, talk ourselves down or get stuck in sum forlorn rut from which it is darn near impossible to extricate ourselves.

Where other signs would ponder or wallow or reflect or experiment or reason or alla those other not immediately useful kindsa things, Aries gets the fuck outta the hole.

Blind direction, sort the rest later.

What we saw with the recent Pisces Noo Moon (an’ what has been rollin’ along for the past month) is alla the sortin’, resolvin’ an’ rearrangin’ aheada noo life, energy an’ initiative bustin’ outta the Zodiac trap.

But Spring is here.


An’ asya read these words, even the muscles flippin’ your eyeballs into actively engaged saccades’re burnin’ up the novelicious Arian carbs an’ oxygen.

Way I see it, you are either fast outta the trap or you are dead in the water right now.

So whatever plansya got, throw yourself at ‘em like Wolverine’s claws swooooooooshin’ from them thar Hugh Jackmaknuckles.

Tippa those blades got drive, direction, purpose — an’ zero time for assholin’ around.

One Last Thing

Like I said, Spring Fever cures all.

Flaggin’ body gonna be revved up, mebbe even primed for spontaneous an’ furniture-destroyin’ blendyjuicy.

Weary mind gonna step up as it chills out, alert to its own raw potentialities.

Lackluster spirit gonna flush out fulla zeal an’ hunt down opportoonity around evry corner.

Dented mojo gonna thrive on emergin’ adventures an’ strengthenya creative resolve.

As for drive — whaddya really wanna happen right now? As in ima get offa my stoopid fat ass an’ go DO THIS.

Gota warnya straight out — when the Sun hits Taurus later in April, alla this noo-found verve gonna mebbe come to a halt whileya go eat cake an’ get massaged tillya are liquid form an’ smell sweeter than Narcissus’ fruitiest ever farts.

Aries-powered Equinox wantsya up an’ hummin’ RIGHT NOW.

Get started, an’ mebbe Spring Fever cures gonna last all year.

So c’mon, quit the STAIR-RIN ADD-DA SCREEEEEEEEN deal — an’ go make sumthin’ real smart happen…

Title Image c/o Cindy del Val @ Unsplash

Spread the love, slip in the bookmark, mix up the linky.

<span class="sdata" title="27"></span> <span class="sdata" title="02, 2017"></span>

Stillness For The Volatile

By | <span class="sdata2" title="2017-04-15T12:58:06+00:00"></span> |Creativity, Fire Signs, Meditation, Practical Astrology, Stillness|0 Comments

Thing I love about candles is how their flames sumtimes still to risin’ points an’ hover over the wick like suspended orange raindrops.

I would wanna believe this calmin’ fire fell outta the Sun an’ momentarily freeze framed jus’ so’s it could touch on my heart.

Course, you gotta get good an’ still to experience this kinda flame, an’I would wanna speculate that Water an’ (in particular) Earth signs got a head start on that score.

They will happily sit with stuff awhile, nurture an’ support it, an’ that is why we need ‘em in our Zodiac team.

*Even though they piss us dearly with their stoopid foibles on occasion.*

But what ifya are a Fire person?

Fulla innate catalytic energy an’ dangerous elemental spirit hellbent on ignitin’shit?

It ain’t rocket science, but I figure prolly that kinda fiery nature don’t sit too well with bein’ still — or serenely meditative, or whateverya wanna call that Buddhasticalistics deal.

Cos ifya are FIRE, you gotta jump around, stoke shit up, right?

Thing is, that urgeya got meansya might miss out on summa the sweetness comes from steppin’ outsidea the searin’ heatya call home, relinquishin’ the urgeta dance engulfed in flames, an’ lettin’ slip all flickerin’ apparel till squido an’ dick alike can shakedown in tranquility’s calmin’ buff.

Aries, Leo, Sagittarius — Here’s The Problems You Got

Here’s how I see the stillness dilemma playin’ out for alla you FIRE types — an’ this prolly gonna figure also for anyaya got Fire in Le Grand Booby Doo (ie Moon, Mercury or Mars).

Gotta say, Aries, you got mebbe the biggest problem hackin’ the stillness schwango.

Anythin’ excitin’ happens, you gotta be up an’ on it — an’ if nuthin’ is happnin’, you gotta start it up.

It is like a frickin’ reflex. Fused with compulsion. An’a whole buncha brute lust grafted on by a crack-crazed plastic surgeon.

Most any other statea bein’ pumpsya fulla big time antsy impatience makesya wanna strangle sum fucker, an’ sittin’ quiet an’ serene before a soothin’ flame is a loooong way downya lista potentialities comparedta, say, snuffin’ the splutterin’ flickero right offa the wick cosya are pacin’ around, shakin’ your fists like sum ragin’ demon.

So, yeah — stillness don’t come natural for Aries.

For Leo, flames exist to be stoked an’ nurtured till their warmin’ heat kisses on evryone inya loop.

Fire gone out is the metaphorical deatha all Sparky, your personal responsibilityta provide for others kinda embarrasingly diminished.

See fire, you gotta grow it bigger, play with the flames till they put on a show.

Stillness for Leo prolly gonna feel like bein’ an extra in sum wasteaspace cheapo TV show.

Why the fuck do that? What is wrong with jus’ gowin’ sleep for like a frickin’ week?

For Sagittarius, gotta have sum humonstrous an’ inspirin’ beacon roarin’ offa the mountaintop so no one ever hasta live in darkness.

I figureya contemplate plentya stuff — how elseya gonna get to be so loudmouth fuckin’ stoopid? — an’ you do so on a genuinely filosophical level, but in tandem with that, you gotta be vaultin’ over boulders in the wilderness or pumpin’ your butt in the gym, clad in suitably sporty FFSwear.

To hell with stillness!

That is howya muscles turnta wobbly moosho like academics’ brains an’ you grow old an’ feeble an’ useless tillya bend all weirdo sub-athletic whenya are exercisin’ in a sexyool capacity.

So — all three FIRE signs jus’ ain’t natural stillness persons, K?

Go Take Big Time Action Onya Chilled Out Reflection Meditation Stuffs

Far as stillness goes, you Fire people’re srsly fuckoed.

Bein’ still prolly … like, I dunno … jus’ kinda feels wrong.

(An’ I gotta clarify here ‘bout Leo mebbe spendin’ more time than most other signs crashed out in the sack withya tinfglydanglies hangin’ out: this ain’t the kinda stillness I am talkin’ ‘bout here, so get up, pull on sum undergarments, an’ tryta look at least halfways interested, K?)

Thing is, I figure the biggest problem all Fire signs face is burnout, an’ the greatest creative gift they could offer ‘emselves is way more PROACTIVE CHILLOUT TIME.

So go dig out a candle an’ a frickin’ lighter RIGHT NOW, K?

Cos between you & Moi, we gonna indulge in sum interactive meditative chillo, tellya.

(Any non-Fire people stoppin’ by can play along also, but I would wanna remind allaya kinked-out Air types that displaysa tricksy multitaskin’ are not required on this occasion, so mountya candles sumplace ain’t a fanjo or asshole.)

Jus’ gonna hum a coulpla inspirational dolphin anthems whileya go sortya tapers.

*beep squeep bweeeeeep, booby doo*

*fleeeep fleeeeeep squeeeedeee boooo*

Tellya, I frickin’ love dolphins…

Cool Kinda Stillness Tips For Fire Fiends Got Smackohot Lips

K, this is gonna take like 10 minutes.

First 3, you spark up an’ get comfy.

Stillya beathin’, dropya shoulders, letchya stoopid To Do lists ooze from outtaya floppo fingertips.

If it helps, mebbe thinka sum celebrity yoga enthoosiasts like Drew Barrymore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Russell Brand an’ Madonna, an’ imagine ‘em all dissolvin’ into a kinda soup which magically replacesya blood for the duration.

Do not expecta feel comfy (‘specially Aries) — jus’ do the bestya can, K?

Gonna mellow asya roll along.

Meantime, watch how the flame stills an’ rises to a sharp point.

Like a fiery, orange raindrop fell outta the Sun an’ momentarily freeze framed beforeya eyes so’s it could touch onya heart.

Stillya breathin’, quit squirmin’ around, an’ it will do that.

(Cool thing about candles, they are ultra trained up this way.)

Restaya 7 minutes, I wantchata reflect real good on the vulnerable spirit glowin’ sweet beforeya.

Without it, Aries got no zest, Leo got no abundance, an’ Sajjo got eternal freedom from bein’ a 24/7 pain in the ass.

Watch ‘specially close for how this tiny flame reaches up, high as it can go.

Wick says, “you cannot spread out an’ engulf shit, there is nuthin’ closeby you can ignite.”

But the flame rises up regardless in the one direction available to its catalytic passion — fulla darin’, fulla bravado, fulla illoomination.

Anyone said size don’t matter never looked in on this trooly beautiful spectacle.

Flame wantsta grow, up an’ out an’ forever.

So gaze upon desire an’ courage an’ energy in their infancy, lit up as a spear tip gonna pierce all space it can reach.

Aries — Here Be Stillness

This is where Aries starts out.

Weaponized fire, knowin’ zero fear — yet so innocent, it could vanish with a whisper.

Touch its tip to anythin’ you wanna, an’ the ignition ball is rollin’.

But here in this baby flame, that energy is kinda pre-started up likeya could cup it inya hand an’ feel on its secrets.

I guess it is a kinda divine purity, speakin’ only truth, actin’ only naively — but whose power, if placed in the wrong hands, is instantly terrifyin’ an’ destructive.

This is tippa your spear, your combative spirit — forged from the soula eternal beginnings.

Think on that, Aries.

Think on how that rage an’ zestya got really gotta get sum control.

Gonna strike out, gotta have sum clear direction.

An’ here it is.

All you gotta do is sit with it awhile.

Breathe soft, an’ take in the still, chilled volatilica.

Leo — Here Be Stillness

For Leo, this candle flame is warmth an’ heart, the softest an’ gentlest incarnationa generosity you gonna see.

Gotta be humble here before this baby.

It’s a meager show, a feeble heat, compared to the more sensually generous fireballsya wanna mebbe flash around, but without it, the world is ice an’ its spirit, dead.

Without it, nuthin’ got sustainin’ energy or creative soul.

It demands a hearth be grown around it, an’ the comforta friends invited up close.

It yearnsta blossom inta sum captivatin’ spectacle; it loves so to makeya smile.

Protect it, an’ it gonna protect you.

Lay down beside it an’ sleep easy — less’nya lay too close an’ set fireta your frickin’ hair.

Think on that, Leo.

Think on how that abundant bonhomie you got really gotta be recharged an’ rested.

Here it is, that peace.

All you gotta do is sit with it awhile.

Breathe soft, an’ take in the still, chilled volatilica.

Sagittarius — Here Be Stillness

For Sajjo, whatya got in this tiny flame is the essencea inspiration an’ illoomination, pure an’ simple — an’ true.

Without it, there is only darkness an’ descent into barbarity where fire sparks only harm.

What a gift it is that a ragin’ elemental force gonna sear an’ carbonize letsya behold it so — all naked an’ honest an’ free.

Gotta carry this flameta the edgea the world, offer its modest glory upto the yearnin’ Void an’ know with blunt certainty that the darkness got nuthin’ in its locker gonna resist bein’ reduced to mere shadow by this fickle colossus.

Flame pierces air, mebbe wantsta pierce the sky — so carry it sumplace real high.

Whatchya got here is a beacon seed, onea billions an’ zillions.

Think on that, Sagittarius.

Think on how ideals’re eternal, seeds fired far inta the Void by those with strength to run out to the edgea beyond.

Here is it, inspirin’ glimmer sparks the journey.

All you gotta do is sit with it awhile.

Breathe soft, an’ take in the still, chilled volatilica.

Ow! Owww! Owwwww! I Got Fuckin’ Cramp!

Like I said, do not expecta feel comfy, ‘specially not the first time.

I guess it is jus’ a casea figurin’ the right position.

Gotta say, kneelin’ down for 10 minutes is a no-no.

You get up, your legs gonna go tinglywobbly likeya sat on sum anesthetic cactus.

An’ ifya are skinno like Moi, prolly you gonna wanna cushion so’s your butt bones don’t tear holes inya carpet an’ dropya downta the Earth’s core, strata by strata, like alla that Alien drool fucked the Nostromo.

Jus’ gotta experiment, I guess, same as with other bendyshapey stuffs.

Point is, you figure it right, you gonna feelya done yourself a big favor whenya finish.

An’ this is only the starta what might happen.

Make time for sum Firetaper Me-Time — more’n 10 minnows ifya wanna — an’ you can grow any ideas come outta it.

My suggestions’re only for starters, an’ I figure best thing is ifya generate imagry makes sensetaya as a yoonique individyool.

Main deal ista figure sum creative, wakeful, meditative Me-Time don’t depend on chargin’ around, flauntin’ your doodads or shootin’your mouth off asya cartwheel through the forest.

That is default settin’ for FIRE, an’ you are mebbe missin’ out.

Way I see it, you got a real fired-up ON switch, an’ sumtimesya gotta figure a little OFF.

Punctuated volatilica — sumtimes flarin’ out, sumtimes chilled — that is the secreta endurin’ FLAME ON, tellya.




You wanna go play with that?


meditation hamster discovers long-lasting relief