Want my view on Spring Equinox rituals?

tbh, I figure the whole concept is kinda stoopid.

An’ here’s why.

All things ritual are essentially trad — wise counsel theatrified as participatory spectacle, passed down from generation to generation as a formalised routine occasionally involvin’ exotic dance maneuvers & fancy costooms, plus mandatory wailin’ an’ mebbe randomly slain goats.

Works mebbe for dooty-conscious Capricorn at Christmas … but right now we got ARIES SEASON.

An’ that is why Spring Equinox spells trouble for certainty.

Spring Equinox Spells Only Adventure

Lemme talkya through alla this Nouveau Equinox stuff — speshly anywan preparin’ to break into any so-called sacred sites wrapped in their livin’ room fuckin’ curtains & packin’ a stainless steel sickle offa Ebay.

Take a good look at the illo I used for this post.

(An’ while I am here, jus’ wanna thank alla the srsly generous an’ talented arts & photography types over at UNSPLASH whose supreme visyool mojo powers up mosta my stuff. Gotta srsly request my readers head over an’ soak up the glorious imagry on offer after I pan the druids in the frickin’ ass for bein’ so poncily LAME.)

We could metaphor on out on this image all kindsa ways cos it offers itself up so smarto for Astrology’s essential deal … ie narrative.

So let’s figure where we started out mebbe yesterday.

Yesterday — March 19 2018 — was the las’ full day in the old astro cycle we started this time las’ year.

Wanna name for this moment?

I respectfully proffer Chaumes Pisces.

Like a ripe old cheese gone real stinky, last daysa Pisces’re a real swampy sargasso, tellya — like evrythin’ been gowin’ down since Aries las’ bust outta the trap got blended all together in a kinda experiential soup.

These’re saturated waters — maximally fulla salt an’ undersea dust packin’ sharky flesh fragment brio.

I wrote more ‘bout this mysteriously enchantin’ vibe here las’ year if’n you wanna check it out, but the main deal to figure today is how an impenetrable deep sea cloudiness is so ubiquitous it offers opportoonity to touch on all things — kinda like a superfuzzy teleporter.

Asya reach out into the gloom, your fingers really could touch on anythin’ — cos it it all here sumplace.

Headin’ back to the illo I chose for this post, guy standin’ on the cliff edge reaches out … but he got FUCK ALL.

That is how the switchout from Pisces to Aries works — an’ it happens in an instant.

For sure, Aries wantsta reach out an’ grab EVRYTHIN’.

Only problem is — for all its edginess, Spring Equinox Nuthin’ got less definition than the Piscean swamp …

Spring Equinox … Spring Fever

Trooly, it is like we morph from dreamsy superaquatic marauders to creatures packin’ leap-powered limbs an’ a blind desire to spring ‘emselves the fuck into a noo kinda noplace.

tbh, it would make more sense for the guy in the illo to be floatin’ around in the uberamorphous water, ready to reach out onto the supertangible rocksa noo Spring Equinox reality — but that woulda meant I gotta sketch in sum random wibbly crustaceans an’ mebbe a sunken pirate ship for the visyools to be maximally convincin’.

Gotta figure y’allz’re here for my wise astro counsel & not my lousy art skills.

Anyways, point is, we gowin’ from the nebulous, ubiquitous & amorphous to the edgy an’ superspecifically unknown.

Cos ain’t that the deal with Aries?

How in hell else they get to be such edgy fuckers if’n they ain’t motivated so blind to go seek out danger’s ultimate precipices?

This is naive lust … not lame frickin’ rityool — an’ that is why I got no time for alla the clowns beachin’ up at Stonehenge dressed like comedy Wes Craven slashers.

For sure, I can see how Pisces might wanna spend the day before Spring Equinox ironin’ out the cowl on their 100% organic cotton Floaty Fuckin’ Wankbrain Regalia — but is Aries really gonna throw it on with innocence an’ zest soon as the Sun switches into her sign, same as they been dowin’ since Mama said, “the inherent principle of exploratory freedom is you do exactly as you’re told, forever and ever … so remember to wash behind your ears and repeat as rote the sacred incantations as you wave your rubber shillelagh at the heavens in the name of all things novel and never before seen or experienced”?

Dickbrain the fuck outta my face, Sister!

For sure, I see anywan in the mall today wearin’ apparel looks in the slightest way immodestly flared or flamboyantly fancy, ima rev me up sum Sagittarian Firepower an’ bite ‘em on the goddamn nose for colludin’ with the forcesa ASSHOLE.

Spring Equinox — A More Appropriately Aries POV

The innocently incendiary energy Aries packs points ever in the directiona novel adventures.

Raison d’etre here is precisely that certainty don’t actschwlly exist.

As an astrologer person, I got sum clue to what might prolly mebbe wanna go down later in the year — for example, when Hornzilla & steadfast Taurus rolls her billion dollar donuts into Uranus in time for Summer — but in truth I got no more genuine clue than the guy in the Unsplash illo.

Fyooture is equally vacant air an’ brute-edged rock — the realest fantasy landscape ever threw up its horizon.

An’ nowan gets the deal smarter than Aries.

For sure, all certainty comes in the end, but as we inhabit the Here & Now waitin’ to shape it, we kinda clueless.

We pack blind direction ‘longside zero compass — aw, an’ ain’t it such invigoratin’ FUN?

That is why Aries got so much revolutionary zeal — an’ why I srsly recommend evrywan mebbe set aside rityool an’ trad an’ alla the Spring Equinox faux certainty stuffs they roll out evry year like exotically clad druids pullin’ their Yak hair bootees from outta the Ritual Trunk for another stereotypical trot round sum stoopid ol’ fuckin’ rocks.

It is at this point I flash my TOTAL HYPOCRITE card an’ pointchya in the directiona what I wrote out for Spring Equinox las’ year.

This is not so much rityool as laziness — albeit suffused with considerable wisdom an’ practically useful smarts you gonna LOVE.

(Hubris buffs gonna be especially impressed.)

See, cos an Aries-driven Spring Equinox spells trouble for certainty precisely because it got real affinity for Spring Fever — that relentlessly insatiable desire for virgin experiences gonna catalyse an’ fire up meaningful change.

So go check in on my Spring Fever Cures All pitch — an’ power up Body, Mind, Spirit, Mojo & Drive.

Today, we all leapin’ from dreams to invigoratin’ reality’s edgiest ever rocks.

This is no time to throw on ceremonial fuckin’ loon pants, tellya.

You trip up on the hem … sure as hell you soon gonna discover even impossibly generous fabric ain’t no kinda parachute.

So plz evrywan have a uniquely 2018 Spring Equinox — so seared onta your experience as positive zestostuffs you ain’t never gonna wanna repeat it, step-by-step, bcs you GET THE FRICKIN’ DEAL …

Title Image c/o Leio McLaren @ Unsplash

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Why Spring Equinox Spells Trouble for Certainty
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Why Spring Equinox Spells Trouble for Certainty
Spring Equinox rolls round AGAIN. Time to go throw on those traditional ol' druid robes from way back whenevah an' celebrate this virgin moment same as we ever did since we was amoeba. Rejoice ye!
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Gowan — Squirt This Baby Around Like Fizzin' Champagne
By | <span class="sdata2" title="2018-03-20T14:27:56+00:00"></span> |Aries, Fire Signs, Initiative, Motivation, Spring Equinox, Spring Fever|0 Comments

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